January 16, 2020
Alrighty, here we go…my tips and thoughts about weddings from a wedding photographer.
Don’t feel bad if you cannot afford to invite everyone you’ve ever met. You have the budget you have, it’s just the reality of your situation, and it is NOTHING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT. There is this underlying guilt with wedding planning that you’re going to lose friends and family if you don’t invite them to your wedding, unless you have really petty friends and family members they will live, they will still love, probably still send you a gift and everything will be fine. There is absolutely no point of starting your marriage off in debt because you were worried about inviting your kinda friend that you haven’t talked to in 6 months. I know this will be hard for some people to swallow because they are people pleasers like me but really, it’s your wedding day, it’s a party, don’t go broke, it’s really not worth it.
STOP THINKING THAT SEEING EACH OTHER BEFORE THE CEREMONY IS BAD LUCK …THAT RITUAL STARTED BECAUSE OF ARRANGED MARRIAGES. This is what Wikipedia says, “A very common wedding superstition to this day is that the groom mustn’t see the bride before the wedding. This emerged from a time when arranged marriages were commonplace, and was practiced to ensure the groom would go through with the marriage regardless of the bride-to-be’s identity or appearance.” Also it’s widely known that about 40-50% of marriages end in divorce and I’m sure some if not the majority of those couples didn’t see each other before the ceremony. So please if you don’t want to see your spouse before the wedding, cool, do you boo, I will make it work for photos no matter what but please please stop thinking it’s bad luck. That’s a bunch of baloney.
But also tip 2.5 Do a first look, cause it’s your wedding day, and it goes by so freaking fast, you owe it to yourself to spend as much time together as possible.
Tip No 3.
One of the best investments you could ever make on a wedding day is hiring a planner, month-of or day of coordinator. Do you want people pestering you about where to put decor? Do you want to have to organize and decide when all the vendors arrive and create a timeline for the entire day? Do you want to have to solve problems that arise during the day? Do you want to have to check in with all your vendors making sure they’ve showed up on time? Do you want to be in charge of cleaning up all your decor, chairs, plates after one of the tiring days you’ll have? Do you want to just show up to your wedding day and actually enjoy it? Then hire HELP! Aunt Mary doesn’t count. I mean yeah she can help but for the love of wedding days, hire someone who knows how to handle problems and will be a neutral 3rd party in the chaos of a wedding day, it’s their job, they love it, they want to serve you. Hire them to serve you so you can take in all the importance of your wedding day. Hiring a planner or coordinator gives you permission to enjoy the planning process and should relieve any stress that comes with planning a huge ass party. Some girls I love are Megan with Gravity Events Araceli with CafeAulove, Kim with Sisti& Co. and Heather with Breezy Day Weddings.
Tip No. 4
Take some time for solitude on your wedding day. Now I know you’ve never seen that on a wedding planning tip list. A recent groom at his wedding was getting ready alone in his hotel room and my second shooter asked him if he wanted his guys in the room while he got ready. And he replied that he wanted to be alone to take it all in. He meditated before we got there and spent time in thought by himself without a bunch of extra hype and testosterone in the room. I really respected this and hope that more of my clients consider this on their wedding day. I’m telling you the day goes by so unbelievably fast, along with spending as much time with your spouse, I believe it’s important to spend time reflecting on your hopes and dreams for your future marriage.
Do you best to have the wedding day you want. Not what society wants you to want. The pressure to do all the “wedding” things is getting ridiculous. You don’t have to wear a white dress, the groom doesn’t have to wear a full suit, you don’t have to have flowers on every table or even ANY tables, you don’t have to do a bouquet or garter toss, you don’t have to eat cake, you don’t have to dance in front of 150 people if you don’t want to. The quicker you realize that a wedding is actually a PARTY then you’ll start doing things that actually reflect you both as a couple instead of what society has decided what a wedding is. If you don’t want a bridal party, don’t have one, your friends will still love you. If you want cash instead of gifts don’t register for stuff, if you don’t want to go on a honeymoon right away, then don’t. IT’S YOUR WEDDING(PARTY)DAY, It’s your life, do whatever the heck you want and tune out the pressure from family and the world. If you don’t even want a big party, then don’t have one. Your family will still love and support you(hopefully lol). Elope, Courthouse it up, JUST DO YOU BOO. I guarantee you won’t regret it, but you might regret doing what everyone else wanted.